Friday, February 3, 2012

Airing My Dirty Laundry

I am a lover of all things esoteric:  astrology, numerology, tarot, shamanism, angels and so forth.  I have a 1st day of the month ritual in which I print out the shaman report for the month at Power Path Seminars & School of Shamanism.  I love being prepared for what the month will bring and working with the energies to make my life better, not to mention the control freak part of me enjoys a forecast now and then!

January's report showed the month to be all about destabilization, disruption and basically everything falling apart so that we, meaning the collective whole, could respond in a new way thus allowing a shift in our consciousness and behaviours.  And boy did January serve me a wallop of disruptions!

Mike has had the same schedule at work for 21 years (such a Capricorn thing): days off ~ Thurs. Fri. Sat.  All of a sudden his schedule was changed to: days off ~ Sun. Tues. Wed.  WTH?  Neither one of us has gotten used to this new schedule and it has certainly thrown this routine lovin' girl for a loop!  Disruption #1

Then one fine morning, Alicia opened the front door to let the cat out and lo' and behold taped to the door were foreclosure papers announcing the auction of our house on the 30th of this month.  WTH?  We have a realtor, we put the house up for sale last October!  Disruption #2

Then one fine afternoon, Mike checked the mailbox and a lovely letter from the courthouse had arrived announcing Alicia's summons to appear before the judge for breaking California state law regarding her provisional drivers license.   Okay we knew this might be coming, darling teenager did get a ticket, but OMG!!!  Disruption #3

Friday of the MLK holiday weekend another lovely letter arrived in the mailbox, this time from the county water district.  A bill for $8139 to replace the fire hydrant my darling teenager wiped out with her grandma's car.  Oh joy!  Disruption #4

Luckily, I had read the shaman report and knew that all this was happening to help me respond in a new way.  You see I am anxious, worry wart, freak-out, panic, insomniac, how-the-hell-am-I-going-to-fix-this? kind of person.  I do believe this is part of the reason why I have had so many digestive issues, I hold my anxiety in my gut!  But this time, I knew I had to let that go, I had to STOP this destructive pattern of panic and anxiety and learn to LET GO AND LET GOD.

My ability to trust the process of life, trust God, trust my guides and angels, trust the laws of the universe has been challenging.  I've wanted for so many years to trust in a higher power, I believe in a higher power, but I've never been able to let go of control. So I knew this was my opportunity.  So with affirmations in hand, morning meditations and EFT tapping, I did my absolute very best to let God take care of these disruptions, because truly they were greater than me.

And so the judge only gave Alicia a fine, whew!  Allstate paid the fire hydrant bill, whew!  Robert our account manager has sent a "Stop Foreclosure" request to the bank, though I have not heard a confirmation on this so I'm still sitting in that place of letting it go and trusting.  And I'm releasing my anxiety about Mike's schedule.  Everything happens for a reason, yes?

So why am I airing my "dirty" laundry to you?  Well because it is life, and life happens and none of it really matters in the grand scheme of things, what mattered was MY REACTION, and what a gift to get the opportunity to learn to trust the source of all life and begin the process of releasing the unhealthy anxiety that has gripped me for so long.  I do hope your January disruptions brought you a gift also.  Can't wait to see what February brings!!!