Teaspoons and Tablespoons

I'm sitting on the porch this Sunday drinking red raspberry herbal infusion writing in my Integrative Nutrition Journal and wondering why I even started this blog.  The blog I created for my husband came from an inspiration.  Sitting in the doctor's office while Mike was getting a PET scan, I leafed through another Coping with Cancer magazine to stumble upon an article about the Human Tribe Project.  I new instantly in my gut I wanted to create a tribe for him. 

But this blog, it didn't come from divine inspiration, from spirit guiding me to another piece in the creation of my life and career.  I have to admit, it came from lack, scarcity.  A feeling of "I must do this too cause so many other people are doing it!  I must get my website up!  I must get my career ready!  I must get myelf out there!  I must blog because other student's of my school are blogging!"  It was created in a frenzy of "must haves" and not wanting to be left behind.  Definitely not divinely inspired.

Even my commitment to myself to spend Sundays in the kitchen has been called into question.  Do I really want to spend every Sunday in my kitchen?  Sure I love my kitchen and the magick I create in there, but why am I choosing this?  With 4 planets in Virgo, I definitely crave structure, organization and love having my weeks and days planned out.  But I also am a Rising Sagittarius, so my desire for freedom is very strong.  So strong in fact that not long after I create structure and detailed organization for my life, I begin to feel trapped, suffocated and I blow the whole thing apart.  It is frustrating to be constantly swinging back and forth between structure and total freedom.  I deeply crave to find the balance between the two, and being a Sun and Moon Libra you'd think I'd be able to balance my scales!

So now I have to let go of this blog and ask spirit to guide me to its purpose.  I know I shouldn't get rid of it.  I know that eventually I would have created a blog, but instead of waiting for the perfect timing, I jumped ahead too soon.  Another wonderful lesson that I continually learn.  To trust God, to know that everything in my life is always perfect, that I don't need to push anything.  I have a loving God and loving Angels guiding every step of my life.

So I did take pictures of my latest discovery at the farmer's market that I will share with you.  I get quite ADHD when I am at a farmer's market.  There are so many gorgeous fruits and vegetables that I get overwhelmed.  But I did calm down enough to discover, learn about and buy Cranberry Beans.

And yes I did cook them into a most delectable soup.  And honestly, I can tell you the ingredients I used but not quantity.  I don't use measurements when I cook.  I use my eyes, my ears, my nose, my hands and my tastebuds to create meals.  I tried to think about how much olive oil I was using and how much basil I threw into the pot, but trying to write down a recipe that I've thrown together is challenging.  I'd much rather cook with a person teaching them to trust their instincts.  Trying to put the magick I love to create into a structured recipe limited by tablespoons and teaspoons is stifling.

So here is what I used:
olive oil
medium yellow onion chopped
2 carrots sliced thinly
2 celery sticks sliced thinly
1 zuchinni diced
1 red bell pepper diced
1 bunch swiss chard ripped
2 tomatoes diced
salt and pepper
a dash of paprika
a dash of garlic powder
quite a few pinches of dried oregano
a handful of fresh basil
a dash of red wine vinegar
shelled cranberry beans
chicken stock

I let all the vegetables except the swiss chard sweat in the pot with the olive oil and all the spices except the basil for about 10 minutes.  Then I added the stock, the beans and the basil and simmered for 25 minutes.  About 3 minutes before time was up I added the swiss chard and red wine vinegar.  Finished cooking and threw in a little more basil from the garden.

Here are the cranberry beans.  The colors are amazing!

Here are the beans after being shelled.  Pink!  I love it!

And here is my soup, my magickal creation.

So who knows what will happen to this blog.  Who knows how I will be inspired.  But inspired is how I choose to live my life.  Not dictated by outside sources, but by my own internal guidance.  So trust yourself to know what is always right for you and never ever be afraid to put away the tablespoons.